To breastfeed or not to breastfeed.

I feel like a horrible mother.  I wish that I could stay home like I did with Mia.  I wish that things were different this time around.  I feel that breastfeeding is the least I can do since I cant be home with her. But no one ever said that was easy.  I pump three times while at work and at times, cant get much out.  I stick to it because I know its best for my babe.  My stash of frozen bags of milk is slowly dwindling away and I don't want to  give her formula.

 My blog mates have given me some good ideas as to help baby sleep longer at night and pumping while she is asleep. Both suggested supplementing with formula at night.  They also suggested that in the morning  I pump one side while feeding the baby on the other side.   I am going to keep pumping for as long as I can.  When we are home, I feed her instead of pumping.  I currently drink Organic Mother's Milk Tea by Traditional Medicinals.  It helps.  But the most important of all things is to drink plenty of fluids. That is hard for me. Stress is a big thing too.  I am a caretaker.  I want to take care of everyone and that causes a lot of stress on me. I am also someone who trusts whole heartedly in everything and everyone.  So stress is not uncommon for me. I need to figure out some way of getting over stress and not worrying.  The fact that today has been a 2 oz per pumping session type of day is stress in its own.  Hopefully I can get over this slump and continue to supply my baby with her liquid gold.  At this point she is drinking around 12 ozs. of breast milk when she is away from me.  Therefore, I need to be pumping that much on a daily basis to replenish my stash.  Some days I get very close.  Some days I dont come anywhere near to getting 12 ozs.  My plan is to start pumping more at home as well. I need to be more dedicated.

I worry that giving her formula will open up a can of issues.  for example, we have gas issues because of what I eat.  But so far, we haven't had constipation issues.  I know that there are a lot of different types of formula. More than likely it will be trial and error.

Breastfeeding is so rewarding, because it helps me to bond with my child.  Since my baby  was born, she has loved being skin to skin with me.  she loves to cuddle up against me.  She is the most loving baby ever.  I cant get enough of her smile.